Guide August Infatuations

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  2. Infatuation Vs. Real Love. What is Infatuation? – Purity in Dating
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Infatuation can be reckless and selfish, where love is more empathetic and considerate. Infatuation brings people into a physical connection, and love brings people into a soul connection. Infatuation is youthful and capricious, love is ageless and steady. Infatuation is possessive and greedy. Infatuation can be destructive and insatiable, whereas, love is content and appreciative.

Love is giving and thoughtful. Infatuation burns out quickly, love is endless.

Difference Between Love and Infatuation

When we love someone, we do things for them in a calm way; we know what we are doing, and we could choose not to do it. When we are infatuated with someone, we do things to them; the actions we want to take are an addictive pull, they are loaded with adrenaline, they are driven by a primitive animalistic urge that has bypassed logic — we stalk them; we contact them just to catch their attention; we do anything to get their validation of our existence. From our perspective, apart from our object of infatuation, nothing else matters.

From the perspective of an outsider, it is all about the attention we get from our object of infatuation. Love is based on a real person i. Infatuation is based on an illusion of a person i. Licensed Psychologist, Atlanta Couple Therapy. The way you look, the way you dress, the car you drive, and other material things are prime examples of surface-level quality. Infatuation focuses on what that person can do for you. Because feelings are subject to change from one day to the next. For example, you can feel good and loving towards your partner on Monday, but then feel angry at them the next day.

You might question if you even want to be together with them. Love is a commitment to daily actions such as honoring, respecting and showing kindness towards one another. Sandra E.

Cohen, Ph. It has to be love, right? Not necessarily. At least, not yet. Infatuation is infused with fantasy — your fantasies about who you want, think and hope this new love is. Infatuation can develop into love or the bubble of infatuation can also quickly burst as reality sets in. And, then you know fantasies are great but the real person is even better. People will go through the emotions of love and infatuation daily when they meet someone new. Both can intensify very quickly as you spend time with that person and become more familiar with who they are. In it, a French officer is grievously wounded in the Napoleonic Battle of Eylau and believed killed.

His widow remarries and has a comfortable new life.


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But the officer did not die, and when he returns years later to claim his wife, she refuses to believe that it is him. When he discovers that she has been a prostitute, he kills her. Again, somehow she survives and reappears in the novel as the unscrupulous older woman, Milady.

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Right now it seems to her unbelievable that Miguel should no longer exist, but a time will come when it will seem incomprehensible that he could ever be restored to life, that he could ever exist, when merely imagining a miraculous reappearance, a resurrection, a return, will seem to her intolerable, because she will already have assigned him a place in time, both him and his character frozen for ever, and she will not allow that fixed and finished portrait to be exposed once more to the changes that afflict everything that is still alive and therefore unpredictable.

We tend to hope that, of the people and habits we cherish, no one will die and none will end, not realizing that the only thing that maintains those habits intact is their sudden withdrawal, with no possible alteration or evolution, because they can abandon us or we abandon them. Intelligent and eloquent this is, to be sure, but completely impossible as dialogue. He poured himself another drink and took a long thirsty draught of it.

Infatuation Vs. Real Love. What is Infatuation? – Purity in Dating

He lit another cigarette. Nor could I fall into the temptation of kissing him or going to bed with him, deluding myself with the idea that it would be the last time. I could keep silent for ever [ sic ] without worrying about Luisa, still less about justice, I could forget about [Miguel], after all, I never actually knew him, or only by sight for several years, during the time it took me to eat my breakfast each morning.

Our age is not one in which everything must be judged or at least known about; innumerable crimes go unresolved or unpunished because no one knows who committed them. Love and infatuation are both incredibly strong emotions, and with these experiences it can feel like you have suddenly lost your head and your bearings. A loving relationship can change your life by helping you develop as an individual within its positive embrace.

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Infatuation can also change your life, often bringing up unresolved issues from the past and leaving you grappling to get a firm foothold on who you are and where you are going. In this instance, infatuation is a distraction from having to deal with problems and realities in your own life. In the tangled web of emotions it can be difficult to gain an objective stance on what your feelings and relationship are about.

Our quick questionnaire can help you achieve a clearer perspective: Are you in love with the idea of being in love? If you are a serial monogamist or fall in love easily, then is each relationship based on real love or a deep down need to experience love and be loved? Infatuation can mask real emotional needs in the name of a feeling that is not based on a grounded relationship or reality.

Intense feelings can leave us feeling vulnerable and exposed; add onto this an unhealthy infatuation and we can become faced with a multitude of challenges and life issues which we need to work out in order to move on. Identifying the difference between love and infatuation can be a good start in sorting out your emotions and inspiring a sense of self-realization.


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This may be the first step in releasing your feelings or relationship from the throes of infatuation to the peace and calm of love. JavaScript is Disabled For the best experience and to ensure full functionality of this site, please enable JavaScript in your browser. What is love? What is infatuation? Why is it sometimes hard to tell the difference? Am I in love or infatuated? Are your feelings sustainable? If you are not able to eat, sleep or stop thinking about someone else, you need to ask yourself if this is a tenable situation or if are losing a sense of your own self.